Premature Mourning
So, I got news today that I’d kind of been expecting, but to hear it spoken out-loud has thrown me every so slightly into a sort of tailspin.
History … I’m the consummate hippy — everyone that knows me knows that. My “dream” has always been of a community that comes together, and makes the impossible reality. Throughout my life, I’ve “thought” I’ve come across people who feel the same way. And they have, to some extent or another. But usually, I find that at the end of the day, the things I think and dream are an impossibility.
It just can’t happen in the world we live — the way things are organized. I think that we are not willing to put ourselves (myself included) in a position where we are vulnerable to each other. “The Church” talks a good talk, but they are further than many people outside their walls in living in true commune with one another. It’s OK for two hours a week, or a nice dinner here and there, but the reality of living life day to day to day… that’s another story.
I’m beginning to believe that the best thing we can do is do the best we can, family by family, person by person. The thought of living in an effective, healthy community — taking care of each other like family, only bringing together different groups or families and “spreading the love” isn’t going to happen in an on-going atmosphere. The most we can hope for is to enrich our families and live the best we can, and have good friends to cheer us on. That’s it. It’s good — even great, sometime. But it isn’t what I naively held onto for so long.
And that’s all OK. Right now, though, I’m coming to terms with my ignorance, my “pie in the sky” ideology. I’ve been here before. And each of these times has formed me into who I am, I know. It still doesn’t make it any easier.
I don’t know the future. A good friend of mine told me a story today that pointed out “we will see” is the hope of the future. So, excuse me while I spend a short time mourning a bit of lost innocence. I’ll be better tomorrow.
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